What to Expect from Your First Couples Session
If you’re considering couples therapy, chances are something in your relationship feels hard to manage on your own. Maybe you’re stuck in the same fight on repeat, living like roommates, recovering from a betrayal, or struggling to communicate in a way that leads to real connection.
Whatever brings you to this point, your first couples counseling session is a significant step toward healing. And like any big step, it’s natural to feel uncertain or even nervous. You might wonder:
What will we talk about?
Will the therapist take sides?
Will we leave feeling better—or worse?
At The Marriage Workshop, we understand that the first session can set the tone for your entire counseling experience. That’s why we focus on creating a space that feels safe, honest, and hopeful from the very beginning.
Here’s what you can expect when you take that first step toward rebuilding your relationship.
The Goal of the First Session
The first couple’s session is not about solving every problem in one sitting. Instead, it’s a space to begin exploring what’s brought you to therapy and what kind of support you’re hoping for.
At The Marriage Workshop, we see the first session as a chance to:
Understand each partner’s perspective
Identify key patterns of disconnection
Begin building emotional safety and structure for the work ahead
Clarify your goals for counseling and what success would look like
Rather than jumping straight into tools or techniques, your therapist will spend time getting to know you—your dynamic, your history, and your hopes.
What the Therapist Will Ask (and Why)
You won’t be asked to relive every painful moment right away. But your therapist will gently guide you through questions that help them understand the relational landscape.
Some examples might include:
“How would you describe your relationship right now?”
“What led you to reach out for help at this time?”
“What do arguments typically look like?”
“When have you felt most connected—or most distant—from each other?”
These questions aren’t designed to assign blame. They’re designed to surface the underlying patterns that keep you stuck so we can begin shifting them together.
Will the Therapist Take Sides?
This is a common fear—especially if one partner was hesitant about coming to therapy in the first place. At The Marriage Workshop, our approach is always balanced and compassionate. We’re not here to decide who’s right or wrong. We’re here to help each of you feel seen, heard, and emotionally safe.
In emotionally focused therapy (EFT), we focus less on “content” (who did what) and more on the emotional cycles that drive your disconnection. Our job is to slow down those patterns and help each partner express their deeper needs, fears, and longings.
Both of you will have space to speak. Both of you will be invited to explore your role in the cycle. And both of you will be supported in creating change—together.
How to Prepare Emotionally
You don’t need to rehearse or have all the answers going in. But you can prepare for the first session by being open to the process. That might look like:
Setting aside assumptions about how your partner will show up
Reminding yourself that therapy is not a performance
Being honest, even if it’s uncomfortable
Listening without interrupting or defending
Asking God for peace, humility, and courage
Couples therapy often starts with small shifts: a softened tone, a brave share, a single moment of being understood. Those shifts matter. They are the seeds of change.
Faith-Informed Support for Christian Couples
If you’re a Christian couple, you may be wondering how your faith will be included in therapy. At The Marriage Workshop, we integrate biblical values with clinical care in a way that honors both your emotional and spiritual journey.
We believe marriage is sacred—and we also believe that honest work is needed to make it strong. Whether your challenges are spiritual, emotional, or both, our goal is to guide you toward a marriage where trust, grace, and connection can thrive.
We won’t push a specific theological view. Instead, we’ll meet you where you are, incorporating faith in ways that are meaningful and authentic for you both.
Your First Step Toward Healing
Starting couples therapy can feel vulnerable—but it’s also a courageous act of hope. Even if things feel fragile or uncertain, showing up to that first session says, We’re not giving up. And that’s a powerful beginning.
At The Marriage Workshop, we offer marriage counseling both online and in person from our Springfield and Lake Ozark offices. Whether your marriage is in crisis or simply needs recalibration, we’re here to help.
Ready to take the first step? Book your free consult today. Let’s begin the work of restoring your relationship—together.