Christian Marriage and the Call to Forgiveness
Forgiveness in marriage can feel both holy and impossible. As Christians, we’re taught that forgiveness is central to our faith—that we are called to extend grace as we have received it. But when the hurt is deep, repeated, or feels unresolved, forgiveness can feel less like a calling and more like a burden.
Many couples struggle with what forgiveness in marriage should look like. Does it mean forgetting? Letting someone off the hook? Moving on when you’re still hurting?
At The Marriage Workshop, we believe that forgiveness in Christian marriage is both a sacred act and a relational process. It’s not about pretending nothing happened—it’s about creating a path to emotional and spiritual healing. When rooted in honesty, humility, and God's grace, forgiveness becomes a bridge—not a shortcut—to renewed connection.
What Forgiveness Is (and Isn’t) in Christian Marriage
One of the biggest misconceptions about forgiveness is that it erases the past. But forgiveness does not mean minimizing hurt, excusing sin, or bypassing healthy boundaries. In marriage, forgiveness involves holding two things together:
The reality of what happened
The hope that healing is possible
Forgiveness is not:
Approving of harmful behavior
Forgetting or pretending it didn’t hurt
Rebuilding trust without accountability
Forgiveness is:
Releasing the right to punish or seek revenge
Acknowledging the pain while still choosing love
Making space for God’s redemptive work in both hearts
In other words, forgiveness in Christian marriage is not just a one-time decision. It’s often a process that includes honesty, repentance, and emotional repair.
The Spiritual Weight of Forgiveness
Scripture speaks clearly—and often—about forgiveness. Jesus taught us to forgive “seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22), not because it’s easy, but because forgiveness frees both the giver and the receiver. It interrupts cycles of bitterness, softens hardened hearts, and reorients us toward God’s mercy.
In marriage, forgiveness reflects the covenantal nature of the relationship. You're not just navigating day-to-day life—you’re building something sacred, meant to reflect Christ’s love for the Church. That love includes grace, truth, patience, and restoration.
But it’s important to note: God doesn’t call us to forgiveness without also equipping us with strength, wisdom, and support. Forgiveness doesn’t mean staying silent in the face of harm. It means choosing a higher path—a path that honors both justice and mercy.
Forgiveness Requires Emotional Safety
True forgiveness cannot grow in a climate of fear, secrecy, or unresolved harm. Emotional safety is the soil in which forgiveness can take root.
For couples healing from betrayal, neglect, or long-standing patterns of hurt, this often means:
Naming the offense clearly and compassionately
Expressing the emotional impact without blame
Offering (and receiving) genuine responsibility and remorse
Committing to behavioral change—not just verbal apology
At The Marriage Workshop, we guide Christian couples through this process using emotionally focused therapy (EFT) and faith-integrated practices. Our goal isn’t surface-level peace—it’s deep healing that honors both your emotional wounds and your spiritual values.
When You’re Struggling to Forgive
What if you want to forgive, but don’t feel ready? What if the hurt still feels too raw?
That’s okay. Forgiveness doesn’t have to be rushed. Sometimes, the desire to forgive is the first courageous step. Therapy can help you:
Clarify what forgiveness would mean for you
Identify what’s getting in the way
Grieve unmet needs or broken trust
Discern how forgiveness and boundaries can coexist
Forgiveness may not restore the relationship to what it was—but it can create something new: a marriage marked by truth, vulnerability, and the presence of God’s grace.
Christian Counseling Can Support the Journey
Forgiveness is a sacred invitation—not a spiritual obligation to do alone. If your marriage is carrying wounds that feel too heavy, Christian counseling can help lighten the load.
At The Marriage Workshop, we provide Christian couples counseling that blends biblical wisdom with therapeutic depth. Whether you're navigating everyday resentments or deep relational injuries, our team is here to walk with you.
We offer in-person sessions in Springfield and Lake Ozark, Missouri, as well as secure online therapy across the state—so you can receive support wherever you are.
To begin your journey toward forgiveness and restoration, book a free consult. Healing is possible. And you don’t have to do it alone.
